Oh man this article got me riled up! It combines some of the things I find most frustrating about the world! Rude people? Check. Flights and small chairs? Check. People with no respect for your personal space? Check.
But there’s also dogs and monkeys. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
Either way — this kind of behavior on a plane is absolutely unacceptable and there is an Instagram account to prove it!
Look, as a tall person I know, first hand, the pain that comes with cramped airline seats. Unless you have an aisle seat, there’s never enough legroom. But why can’t you just be like the rest of us mortals and suffer for a couple of hours? Why do you have to do something this ridiculous?!
Oh MAN do I hate people who litter. The world is not a trash can! I know it’s somebody’s job to clean the floors regularly, but how selfish and stupid and uncultured do you have to be to eat pistachios on a form of public transport and then just drop the shells on the floor?! If it was up to me I’d make them clean it with their own hands. No brooms!
I mean, I’m a fan of cold pizza so I can’t relate to this on a personal level. Even more so, I’ve been on a plane, I know (for a fact!) that those tiny little lightbulbs are not nearly hot enough to heat a slice of pizza. That’s not a microwave, dude! Can you imagine what would happen to your body if each lightbulb actually was a microwave?
Keep Your Hair Over THERE
This one boggles my mind as well. Now, obviously, it’s rude to just flip your hair over your chair and keep it over there, but to be fair – doesn’t she care that the person behind her will glare at the hair and then dare to just cut it all off? (I apologize for all the rhymes. I got carried away). No but really, wouldn’t you be scared somebody is just going to cut your hair off?!
This would actually be genius if it wasn’t so incredibly stupid. Everyone knows that the seats next to the emergency exits come with the benefit of having some extra leg space. You can do a lot of creative things to be comfortable with all that leg space.
You know what’s an extremely stupid idea though? Putting the weight of your legs on a handle that is meant to be used to OPEN THE EMERGENCY EXIT DOOR!
It’s a Dog Eat Dog World
I feel sorry for this puppy. I mean, I’m sure it has plenty of leg space for its tiny paws, but can you imagine being a hyperactive puppy that is made to be quiet during a long flight?! I feel sorry for the little doggo. Still better than a crying kid!
Dogs are whatever, but monkeys?! On a plane!? Is that even allowed? I mean, again, some monkeys behave better than some people, but that’s not reason enough to allow them to climb chairs and roam around the cabin pressing buttons. At least this monkey isn’t trying to use a lightbulb to heat a piece of pizza.
It’s called an ARM rest
Look, it’s called an armrest for a reason! I know it’s right there and it looks very appealing as an option to stretch your leg out and lean it on something, but for the love of all things good in this world – don’t! Also, what is it with people who think it’s acceptable to take off their shoes during flights? Why would you take off your shoes in public? I mean, if you know you’re going to be there for a long time – wear comfortable shoes that you won’t want to take off!
Your Row is Not a Bed
I know it’s tempting to just lie down and use the whole row as a bed when nobody else is sharing it with you, but don’t do it. If you are going to do it there are several rules:
- Your shoes have to remain on your feet (see previous item on this list)
- None of your appendages have to stick out into the isle
- Buckle your torso so that you don’t fall and injure yourself if the plane hits turbulence.
NO FISH. EVER.
Do I even have to explain this one? You’re not allowed to eat smelly food on airplanes. You know, there’s a reason that airplane food is incredibly bland and flavorless. You’re in a closed tube with no air coming in from the outside. You can’t open a window! The air you have when you leave the airport is pretty much the same air you’re going to land with, so if you fill it with the pungent smell of fish and chips, you’re going to cause hundreds of people to suffer. And if you do that – you deserve to be kicked off the flight.