Many great things in life come in small packages: baby carrots, spy cameras, Firefly season 1… and also humans. As a 6’2” giant, I can’t relate to any of the things you’ll about to see, but theoretically I understand how not being able to reach your favorite cereals may be one of the most infuriating things in the world. We, the “giants”, have a bunch of problems too, but that’s for another day maybe. Today, however, I want to give a boost to the vertically challenged!
1. This must be the biggest issue: can’t f#$%ing reach anything! And to add insult to injury, the best stuff is always on the top shelf.
2. Why would the store keep the XXS sizes on the freaking ceiling!?
3. That fishtail would fit nicely on my leg, though. Where can I buy two?
4. Being 4’10” must feel like hell.
5. That towel seat, though. Pretty brilliant move!
6. Just you wait a few years, and maybe, somehow… she’ll be able to say NO. For now he’s hooked here with his sense of humor, so that should be enough for a month or two.
7. I know how to fix this: wear a baseball cap! Or sunglasses.
8. Short people should always carry a tiny folding chair, so they can enjoy stuff as well.
9. Spontaneous group photos – short people’s greatest weakness.
10. How else would you do it? Well, you can always hit the kneecaps and make the person kneel, but, I can see how that would furrow a few eyebrows.
11. Maybe this is just a child’s bed… Naaaah, somewhere out there there’s an itsy-bitsy little princess that needs a step ladder to climb into her bed every freaking day. How is this real?
12. Maybe try switching to a front loading washer?
13. Remember kids, do NOT use a short person as an arm rest… Unless you’re Michelle Obama.
14. Who put the best pot up there?
15. But you can swing your legs all day long! How is this a bad thing?
16. Wow, that whoever built that house really hated the shorties. Even I wouldn’t be able to reach it easily.
17. You don’t know the half of it, girl! And I mean, like, the actual half.
18. Would you rather have the soap dispenser bolted to the ceiling? Yeah, thought so.
19. You know, sharp pointy corners will hit you in the gut regardless of your height. That’s just how this world works.
20. I would a 1000% do this. Not even joking. I’m talking like every day.